Women's Education

This is my third pregnancy but it's like I'm pregnant for the first time. A lot has changed since I was pregnant with my first born 9 years ago, and even from my second born 5 years ago. I didn't bother to educate myself, I thought "I'm pregnant, I can't do what I want but I can definitely eat what I want". Wrong!!! I couldn't be more wrong about that policy. With this pregnancy, I immediately started looking up information on what I can or cannot do or eat. I spoke up to my doctor's and I'm having a great pregnancy. My point is that us women need to really educate ourselves, we can't sit around waiting for someone to tell us what to do or how to do it. Honestly, how many of us are going to listen. This post is just about women opening their minds about their health in general but especially during pregnancy. Most of us nowadays are either young, or working mothers, or both and when do we have the time to sit and really evaluate. There is so much that I know now about pre and postnatal health that I wish I had known 9 years ago. The way we eat and keep active/inactive before and after pregnancy (especially when nursing) matters. There are health evaluations that we need to pay attention to when we're postnatal like why we still look pregnant when we just had a baby, what we do with ourselves if we're sad or depressed. The one thing I know for sure is not to ignore any of the postnatal symptoms even if they seem small. Take time for yourself to make yourself feel better in between the time that you're making a brand new baby happy, a husband feel valued, and if applicable your other children feel special. There are plenty of websites out there to reference. My go to is sarahaley.com I have looked to her from the beginning and I'm so happy that I did because she is by far the best help I've had. I have no need to look elsewhere. Another way I keep myself educated is magazines, my doctor. Another fail safe in my opinion would be to go with counseling, you could never go wrong with an experienced person showing you the way, or giving you the resources to do so. Stay educated, and stay healthy!!! See you next time :)

My wonderful husband

I ripped this post title...I don't know what else to call it!! So, a lot has happened and I unfortunately don't have the time to document my life in real-time, or as close to it as possible....I wish I did but let's be real, life happens way too fast! I'll try to stay as loyal as I can to this blog, so that when my page gets a visit, the readers can have more than the same two posts that have been up for what now....2 years?? Yikes! Okay, a quick rewind. I'm married, I've been married for a year now, and months after being married, I got pregnant. We are all so happy, my children are excited, my husband is over the moon, and I couldn't be happier. As soon as I realized that this husband of mine was the man of my dreams, I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with him, and grow our family, which brings me to my topic. I read a post today on the pregnancy group I'm on that read "My wonderful husband" and I read 2 posts in which women praise their husbands for being so amazing during this time when a woman needs her husband the most...I mean that, in the time that I have been married I have never needed my husband more, I have never leaned on my husband more than I do at this point in my life, or in our relationship. I never knew that it was ok to. Yes, I've been pregnant twice before and they were both polar opposite pregnancies. My first, I hid it like I was a teenager afraid of her parents. I did everything but move away to have the baby, I was alone in every sense of the word until I told my family 7 months later. I had no reason to be afraid, I was 20 years old, which is young still but I was also working and going to college, my baby and I had the world in our hands as far as opportunity and circumstance. My second pregnancy the father was barely there (same father). Even though he was physically there, I was no better off than I was during my first pregnancy. I had an amazing support system in my family but it just wasn't the same, I didn't feel safe, loved, or supported at all by him which mattered the most, my family should have just been a net for me. I was broke, and drowning, my parent's and sisters had to tread lightly b/c I was hyper sensitive through my whole pregnancy about my failures, and mistakes and them being pointed out to me. I love both of my children so much that it hurts. It's because of all of that struggle, and experience, and hard headedness that I learned the true meaning of unconditional love for two beings that I had yet to even know, that I was nurturing before they realized that they even needed me. I can't tell you how that lifted me up when I was having bad days, and it wasn't until their father and I finally parted ways for good that I realized how much I needed them, and how much I loved myself and them enough not to let that kind of person in our lives again. Now, I'm having a completely different experience. My husband is there even when I don't know that I need him yet, and my family is thrilled for us (as opposed to afraid for me) sometimes I behave the way I once knew how and realize that it isn't necessary, my husband is there to stay and my family is willing to help us in every single way possible. I love him with all of my heart, it throws me at times how much I feel for him. Now, these women in the group, I feel that I could relate to them in how lucky I feel to have him in my life, and that I finally picked the right man to join me in this journey. My husband comes from a family of women who raised and taught him. His father was busy working in the states to provide for his growing family, the only time he saw his father was when he came home for the birth of his two younger sisters, and for a few visits here and there. His mother worked, cooked, cleaned and raised 4 other children while bearing two after. She not once complained, and worshiped her husband when he did come home. There were no sick days, or "I'll do it tomorrow" days. He appreciates women but some times in my opinion over estimates them...Or should I say me, although to be honest, he's usually right on the money and I don't even know it. Sometimes I'm like a child that won't do something because it looks hard, and when I finally do it (not by choice) I want to do more, and I laugh in the face of that task. I forget how strong I could be when I have to be, that I have that strength. I want women to realize that they have strength they couldn't imagine having at one point, necessity is the mother of invention (Now I know where that saying comes from). My first trimester was bad, I'm sure it could have been worse but I thought it would never end. I didn't just have morning sickness, it lasted all day. Waking up in the morning, going to work, and cooking dinner was impossible (but I did it) and eating was out of the question for me. I did it, but he wasn't there rubbing my back while the nausea took over (so bad sometimes that my head hurt and I'd feel dizzy) He wasn't letting me off the hook when chores needed to be done (although I could get away with leaving it for the next day), or when the groceries had to be picked up. Don't get me wrong, he's not a dictator but he works so hard that he couldn't even do any of that for me if I asked. When I did have the energy to eat and I craved something, he got it for me, if I'm hormonal, he weathers it, that means more to me than anything during this pregnancy, someone who lets me be a lunatic when my hormones run rampant, I'm difficult on a regular day when I'm not pregnant and this just multiplied what he already knew. I'm in the second trimester now and I'm so glad to be on the other side of that first trimester rough patch. My moods swing upwards now more often than not, I don't feel like I'm not in control anymore, and everything just seems easier. I can work out comfortably...For now lol! Now I'm just stressing more about what we don't have yet and need to get. I'm not saying that I did it alone, heaven knows that's not true, he supported me the way he knew how, and I'm grateful for him :) Thank you for letting me vent. I'll be more present on my blog now so follow me and see what's next on my new journey. XOXO :)

Bonds of sisterhood....broken??? I sure hope not

I never thought of myself as a family person, don't get me wrong, I love my family very much but I always thought that I loved them from a distance. I figured out that it takes work as u get older to understand your family and as you go through stages u adjust your behavior to fit the mold at the time...the love never changes, just the way you carry yourself and your regard for the other that tweaks a bit.

 Recently Father's Day passed and it was a bitter sweet day for me personally. I have my father, alive and well thank God but my children don't see theirs very often as it is and so Father'sDay came and went for them without much thought. It broke my heart but what can I do? I never wanted my kids to skip a holiday of any kind b/c of bad memories, I don't have to, it's my job to make sure they don't either.....so, why do I get the feeling that I'm failing miserably?? I know that his actions are none of my concern or responsibility but I feel like I have a solid obligation to make my kids happy in every aspect as long as they need me, or not lol!

With all of that having been said I was very surprised when my sister (whom my son adores and spent all night Saturday and all of Sunday with) text me Monday morning with an upset message about how distanced she feels from us here. I couldn't believe she had even thought it b/c I feel like I owe that girl so much I don't even know where to begin repaying her. I text her that I love her very much and I apologized for making her feel that way on my part. I try to see her as often as I can but she's a soccer mom and I'm a single mom so our schedules don't exactly mesh very often. I was crying b/c I sincerely felt bad, I couldn't believe how poor of a sister I was being w her in particular (I have 4 sisters).  I think we're sort of ok but then I spoke to my mom to whom she sent an even more upset message, I felt like she played me and thinking it through I think she has a grudge against something that happened maybe with my sisters or parents, maybe even me that she hasn't let go of yet or worked out but she needs to figure it out and soon b/c we r sisters and we need to act like it, we need to be there for each other and love and support each other.

Today

Today was a bit difficult, I was fine when I woke up but then my mood shifted....I'm not sure what it is or why I keep letting things get to me, small things especially but it happened today. I'm starting beauty school next Monday 6/24 and I'm very excited, I've wanted to go for a while and have always found millions of reasons not to but finally I decided to go and I'm so very excited. To start a whole new venture and to do something beneficial for my family is my ultimate motivation, to do something I love and that I'm good at keeps me positive at times. I think it's the thought of going to school, and working full time plus taking care of my kids alone that's getting me all stressed out, I mean, what if I fail or half ass it.....I don't want to and I plan on going through with this all the way but what if I can't!!! Ok, so, now that I got that off my chest I feel a little better but it's still there, maybe once I start and get a routine going it'll shape up.